Dear my future,

I don't like to be the girl crying on the phone telling about how her great and wonderful partner has deeply wounded, offended and made her embarrassed. Why do you think its okay to talk to me like that? As if it is my fault that your life is unsatisfactory to you. You have a good life. you are sick of people telling you that you need to wait and everything with be fine, well let me be different, I say everything is fine already. You have a good life. You have a loving family that willingly digs into their pockets to help you, you have a job where you do occasionally laugh and have fun, so much that the other day you told me that even though its not perfect, the people in the job are so much fun that you are unwilling to change locations, even though that would save you significantly a lot of money. you have a good girlfriend, I know I am. I might have quirks, but I love you despite all of yours and humbly except all the criticisms you throw against me. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to hear your apologies, I want you to treat me with the same kindness and compassion that I treat you with. This is my fault that I feel this hurt. I have let you become more then may be I should have. I want you to do something, sacrifice something, to show me that you are looking for a partner, an equal, not a door mat or someone that you can be a bitch too. I'm so angry at you. I'm so disappointed that I am still having to talk to you about this. This is who you are and I need to cope with it....... but I don't want to. I want you to change. RED FLAG! People don't change. So I am back to having to cope with it or not being with you. At the moment, in all honesty, I don't want to have the same conversation ever again. But we just made plans and spent this money on this huge trip, and I have made you the center, what am I going to do if my center is gone? You better fix this or else I am going to have a hole in me.